LETTER FROM BOURNEMOUTH

In 2006, the 55th annual Bournemouth Open Amateur Golf Tournament will again be a six-day programme of competitions played over the town’s Meyrick and Queens Park courses in early June. Pretty much regardless of the competition(s) you enter, you’ll win a decent prize if you play to your handicap or a little better, maybe including one or more of fourteen splendid trophies. Sounds easy doesn’t it? But wait, there’s more: if you’re an RPGC competitor, Paul Grand might invite you to a posh, civilised BBQ supervised by Toby “Gordon Ramsay” Hunt, assisted by mercurial sous-chef Paul Patching with veteran Shropshire sommelier Michael Hinks-Edwards serving Chateau Ludlow damson vodka. Wow!

RPGC top honours at last year’s Bournemouth bash went to Toby Hunt who took 9th place in the men’s 72-hole medal. There were 92 entries in this demanding flagship event, but no-one beat CSS for the four-round totals. In the corresponding flagship medal for ladies, only two players beat CSS.

Ann Gardner and Toby, with 33 points, narrowly missed a podium place in the mixed foursomes Stableford which also featured Maureen Slade and Paul Patching (winners in 2003) Paul Grand with Ros Lake, and Cheryl Woodhouse and Michael Hinks-Edwards. Cheryl and Michael were delighted with their best-ever score in this event, a five-blob 27 points (it’s tough out there, guys, but the smoked salmon sarnies helped). Paul Patching, dieting on poached eggs and antibiotics, missed two rounds of the men’s 72-hole medal, but recovered to lift the Bournemouth Minigolf Classic trophy, a prestigious event for RPGC stalwarts only. His victory was all the more remarkable given that contestants must down four pints in a refrigerated pub before stepping onto the first tee. Paul Grand, garbed in a fetching combo of khaki shorts and GAP gabardine hoodie, won the RPGC Bournemouth par-3 challenge with a truly gob smacking variety of shots.

Many say that the Bournemouth bash “ain’t wot it used to be”. Indeed, RPGC participation has dwindled over the years. If you were a missing RPGC stalwart (Bob Marshall et al?) at the Bournemouth bash last year, presumably fed up with it, there was nothing new to tempt you back: but if you haven’t tried it yet, you should*.

It’s not expensive, the competitions are well run, the courses challenging, the prizes good and the local golfers generally friendly and helpful. You’ll need a swing that doesn’t break down under pressure and an unshakeable belief in cold-blooded discretion as the better part of golfing valour. Alternatively, astute use of C-game 3-wood scuttles and thinned wedges can keep you going. Failing all these, there’s always the Dog and Tricycle, and Mumbles night club for serious (non-suicidal) students of the social sciences; or you could nip into the Branksome Arms for a quick one…shut that door!

* If you’re new to the Bournemouth bash and interested in joining the RPGC gang for Bournemouth 2006, talk to Toby Hunt or Paul Grand. For essential female opinion, talk to Cheryl Woodhouse, Maureen Slade, Ann Gardner, Ros Lake or Lia Donath.